I HATE MY PAST. SO I CHANGE IN ORDER TO HAVE A BETTER PAST IN 10 YEARS TIME

An old friend asked me 'how I'm doing' and I told him that I'm fine. But to be honest I hated my past, so I made a change in order to have a better past in 10 years time. Reminiscing on my own mistakes, I decided to change my speech. I couldn't be known as the typical black boy from Croydon so I had to prepare myself for the real world in which I was soon about to meet. I've had dreams of me being on top, with the money and my crown. But dreams down here are non existent when your name has become the real talk of the town. No matter how many times I'd be put to the ground, I would always get back up to my feet. I tackled every obstacle in front of me, took all my negative emotions, and simply pressed delete. A vision of my future with the kids and the wife can easily fall into the dark abyss, stabbing like a knife and the emotions towards other people were only based on strife because I had hated the way they made me negatively look and observe my life. After sleepless nights and disappointing years, I fell apart and understood the amount of words being compressed into tears. I wished to be somewhere else, like out of space. Because I knew the trauma being spread around made me feel awkward and out of place. I had so many emotions having specific, significant roles, featuring in its own symphony. But flipping acceptance is all I wanted, I couldn't give a crap about anyone's sympathy. I grew up knowing that I had to fight for what I believed in. The limitless boundaries was soon my destruction and gaining more enemies was what I achieved in. My mum would call me brave, crocodiles in my room was all I feared. But now I'm terrified of anything, my mind is known to be the main thing in which would get me scared. I contemplated whether I should fight for a good future, with good wealth or whether I should go poor. Shhhh.....Listen! Did you hear that? That was my heart saying it can't take no more. There were too many problems in this everlasting bubble. A story in which was nowhere near finished, got ended early as I observed the rope...it was time to burst this cursed bubble